You know, over the past few years, all I thought about with blogging was how to grow, how to make it more, how to be better. And I have simply failed at it. I don’t have time. But blogging was always my release. My place to go.
Over the past two years, I’ve let people down. I’ve let things slide that I normally wouldn’t. I’ve let things go. And I pretty much quit blogging. Because I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I’m not sure who exactly I am comparing myself to but self-confidence has never been a strong point of mine. Ever.That might be shocking, especially if you met me in real life. But I’m real good at not showing my insecurities. (Insert shoulder shrug here).
I’m not sure why I knew it was time to change my blog name, but it wasn’t time to accept that change and just be me. But I didn’t. I kept trying and saying “I’ll do this” or “I’ll do that,” but I didn’t. I didn’t write because I “didn’t know what to say” or “I didn’t have pictures,” or some other junk. I mean, who’s reading this but me at this point? It’s my journal. Mine. For me. So, that’s what it’s going to be. My place. You don’t like it, oh well. There are approximately 11 billionity other blogs you can go visit. This is mine.
I’m going to blog twice a week at least. I am. For me. Not for reviews or to tell you about what I’m doing somewhere else. I’ll be here. Blogging for me. Journaling for me.
It is what it is. It’s just me. And I won’t worry about comments or site views or any of that. It’s not about that. This is about me getting back to me.
I guess you can see that it was a super bad day and I’m feeling down. But if felt good to write this and writing hasn’t felt good in a long time.