I wanted to climb on here yesterday and tell yall Happy Mother’s Day and to tell you what a wonderful job my men did for me. Because they did. And I had a great day.
But Saturday just cracked my heart.
Because on Saturday, we lost Boone.
It hurts to even type that. Boone died on Saturday while at the vet fighting against Parvo; he’d been there since Wednesday morning. He apparently picked it up in our backyard as he’s been around no other dogs.
I’ve cried and cried and cried. I cried when JL cried and said “but he’s my buddy” and started crying. I’ve cried because of how insensitive little ones can be to the aspect of death because they simply don’t understand. I cry when I hear his name and when I hear them talk about him. I cry when I go down to the coop and almost tell the boys to protect the eggs because he liked to grab them from the bucket and eat them.
I cry when I look at this picture.
This is Thursday morning, before I took him to the vet, after I carried him up the stairs because he wouldn’t walk with me and tried to hide from me in the backyard. JP had lain down in the floor with Boone and covered him up to feel better after he found out Boone was sick. Boone liked to come in and lay his head on the pillow.
I cry and I blame myself because he was behind on his shots because money had been so tight in the winter. I had planned to take him to the clinic on Saturday to get his and all the other animals vaccines. Instead, on Saturday, I picked him up to bury him and then later took everyone else back in for their vaccines.
I cry because he was only with us for five and a half months, and he no long goes nuts when I go in the chicken coop, barking at me. He doesn’t get all excited to see me. He doesn’t meet me at the gate. I can’t lovingly call him a moron anymore. I can’t scratch his ears or throw the ball. I can’t hug him. There’s no more Booner or Booneshaka for us to love on…our nicknames for our beloved pup.
I cry because my babies continued to pray for him (and Buckshot) last night; to play and be safe in heaven and to be good for Jesus.
Instead, now, he’s buried in the back yard with our other 2 labs; now one yellow, one chocolate and one black. All lost in the past 2 years…one 6, one 10 and one 5 and half months old. His favorite toys…a tennis ball, a snuffed toy basketball, knotted socks and a stuffed penguin are all with him.
I cry when I look at these pictures…
And, for now, I am done. We still have my Burgh and the cats and I will shower them with love. I will spoil them and I will love on them.
Because my heart can’t handle another break right now.