The definition of a friend

What is your definition of a true friend? Is it someone you talk to every day or can you only talk to them once a month? Can you have a true friend that you’ve never met? What about those people that you’ve been friends with for years that perhaps you’re just not as close to anymore? How do you really define what a friend is?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. For several reasons I guess. I have several “groups” of friends. I have the people I know in real life….two wonderful ladies from church and my cousin that I talk to frequently. One I talk to daily that is probably my closest “in real life” friend at this point. Then I have a group of about 20 fantastically awesome ladies that I talk to daily. We met on a message board for parents nearly 4 years ago and formed a group of moms who work outside the home. We used to be a bigger group but, over 4 years, we’ve lost a few and we’ve created a private board. To be completely honest, I couldn’t make it without them. They are my support system. They are my day to day conversation, the ones I bounce ideas off of, the ones I vent to, the ones that I don’t have to hold anything back from. And no, I haven’t met one of them. But I do talk on the phone to my “soul sister” at least once a month, if not more! I also have my budget buddy from this group though she’s been scarce here lately. And I have others that I have become really close with. Again, couldn’t live without them.

I have a college friend whom I consider probably my best friend though we don’t talk as often as we used to. She just had a baby so she’s kinda….busy! But, I know I can call her crying and she’ll stop what she’s doing and listen and encourage me. We grew up similarly and have a lot in common but we now live a state apart. And she has dial up…God bless her. Our phone calls are long and well worth it when we can find the time.

I have my BFF (can a 30 year old say BFF and still sound legit?) from middle school that I still keep in close contact with. But now she’s moving across the country (temporarily) which makes me sad but I understand her reasons. I love her. We’re at different places in our lives and we can get totally peeved at one another and not speak for weeks or months but then one will call the other and we instantly forgive. But, we’re not as close as we used to be and I miss that. And I guess I’m scared we’ll grow even further apart with the move.

And last, but never, ever least is Hunter. He is truly the best friend I will ever have. He makes me laugh like no one. He knows when to let me cry and when to let me rage. He knows how to calm me down and how to tick me off. He loves me unconditionally and I love him unconditionally. We are imperfect and we struggle together. He holds me up when I can’t hold myself up. I try to do the same for him.
So, what’s your definition of a friend? We all have different kinds of friends and different levels of friendship. But I’ll be honest. That little tool on Facebook for Friends kind of irks me. Not everyone is a friend. And perhaps our definition of “friends” has changed so much that maybe that’s why friendships don’t last. Are we just friends with anyone? I hate to think of friends as disposable but I feel like that’s how we view them these days. That’s why I won’t give up on the ones I have. I have a hard time getting to know people because I can be reserved (at least initially…don’t laugh Mandy). So, for me, friendships mean so much. My group of friends may seem large but it’s not really. I consider myself lucky to have them.

But the question still remains, how do you define a friend? Can bloggy world (or internet world) friends be true friends? Have we become a society of disposable friends like we have in everything else? Are we just too scared to commit to work at a friendship? If it’s too hard, do we just give up? What do yall think?

(knock, knock…anyone still there?)

Thanks for listening to my ramblings today

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4 thoughts on “The definition of a friend

  1. I think about this a lot. I’ve moved many times and so my friends are scattered, but we’re still close. My dearest friends are the ones I talk with the least, but whenever we get in touch with one another, it’s as if no time at all has passed. It takes time and work to develop a true friendship…to develop the trust to let them see your, well, everything, and still decide to stick around. And now that I’ve joined the blogging community, I feel a connection to women I have never met (and may never meet) in person. But I feel connected nonetheless. It’ll be interesting to see what others have to say. Thanks for this post!

  2. It’s funny how you can feel closer to people that you’ve never seen isn’t it Deidra. I’ve cried for them, laughed with them and prayed hard for them. They’re blessings and I know that God has given them to me for a reason. C—you know I love you too chica!C-re

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